Re:Basic Social Skills Guide (2012)
by robocat on Wednesday November 20, 2019 @03:26PM
(#21588114)
> not give unsolicited advice to friends, family, acquaintances, or even strangers.
I strongly disagree here. Friends should try and help friends IF they have the skills to do so. And we should all try and learn how, while recognising our limitations (I'm an engineer stereotype so I don't pretend to myself I am very skilled).
I agree that knowing when to keep your mouth shut is obligatory, and I completely agree it is extremely difficult to help without alienating.
You should know some people who do have the skills to gently and successfully help others, often older and less obvious. I personally try and learn that skill by copying their tact and non-judgement. Beware that many people completely lack the skills even though their job should need it (I've seen nurses, psychologists, social workers etc with nearly zero ability - Dunning Kruger?).
> People will ask for advice if they really want it
Yet there are plenty of counter-examples, especially when people lack the insight to even see their own problems.
> I’ve lost friends over this
I've risked losing friends over this when I've felt strongly about it. Take time to myself to think about whatever the issue is. Losing a friend can be better than not trying to help a friend.
Acquantances are different: personally I let most people do what they will - who am I to judge their path? How can I help if I don't know them well, and I am not around as needed? I guess there are people that can and do help in a short encounter, but either they are uncommon or I don't recognise the skill.
I strongly disagree here. Friends should try and help friends IF they have the skills to do so. And we should all try and learn how, while recognising our limitations (I'm an engineer stereotype so I don't pretend to myself I am very skilled).
I agree that knowing when to keep your mouth shut is obligatory, and I completely agree it is extremely difficult to help without alienating.
You should know some people who do have the skills to gently and successfully help others, often older and less obvious. I personally try and learn that skill by copying their tact and non-judgement. Beware that many people completely lack the skills even though their job should need it (I've seen nurses, psychologists, social workers etc with nearly zero ability - Dunning Kruger?).
> People will ask for advice if they really want it
Yet there are plenty of counter-examples, especially when people lack the insight to even see their own problems.
> I’ve lost friends over this
I've risked losing friends over this when I've felt strongly about it. Take time to myself to think about whatever the issue is. Losing a friend can be better than not trying to help a friend.
Acquantances are different: personally I let most people do what they will - who am I to judge their path? How can I help if I don't know them well, and I am not around as needed? I guess there are people that can and do help in a short encounter, but either they are uncommon or I don't recognise the skill.