News for hackers. Stuff that matters.
Re:Basic Social Skills Guide (2012) by x2f10 on Wednesday November 20, 2019 @01:51PM (#21587089)
You are spot on. I have had to learn this multiple times. If the person is not willing to accept the observation with open arms (hint: most are not), you will only push the person away. However, I can't help but see the small irony in your reply.

>[do not] give unsolicited advice to friends, family, acquaintances, or even strangers

>one dear friend [gave me unsolicited advice which helped]

Re:Basic Social Skills Guide (2012) by hn_throwaway_99 on Wednesday November 20, 2019 @01:57PM (#21587167)
I think the standard psycho-therapeutic "tell them how it makes you feel" advice applies here and accounts for the difference. It's one thing to give unsolicited advice to someone. It's quite another to tell a close friend "Look, I need to tell you something important because I care about you. When you start telling me all the ways I should change to be a 'better person', it really makes me feel bad, and makes me not want to hang around you. It certainly doesn't motivate me to actually make any of your suggested changes."
Re:Basic Social Skills Guide (2012) by leetcrew on Wednesday November 20, 2019 @09:15PM (#21590853)
I don't really think unsolicited advice is even that bad usually. if you see someone struggling with a task and offer a good tip, they usually appreciate it. when someone starts venting about a problem, they are (implicitly) asking for something other than advice: usually just a kind ear. this is basically the worst moment to start offering advice.