I think what was meant by "adjust your models of reality" was simply "show empathy".
Showing empathy is definitely an actionable advice and should be a prerequisite to any attempt at communicating with another human being.
Maybe "show" empathy is not the good term, rather "use" empathy.
Re:I was an astrologer
by AnIdiotOnTheNet on Thursday November 07, 2019 @12:01PM
(#21474929)
> "adjust your models of reality" isnt actionable advice.
It is completely actionable advice. It means simply that you will communicate better if the two parties communicating have more shared context. For each of us, reality is our perspective of it. Finding common ground between our perspectives is the first step in communication, expanding our common ground is the next. Understanding how another person sees the world and how they describe it goes a long way towards making yourself understood by them.
this is pretty grandiose. its beautiful, but if youre trying to help people communicate, "adjust your models of reality" isnt actionable advice.
the core problem you allude to is that communication is built on unexamined assumptions, but this does not require a cosmic realignment to get better at solving. a perfect example of this is trying to make your partner feel loved. if you tell your partner you love them but that doesnt make them feel loved, you are miscommunicating. i am regurgitating the words of "The 5 Love Languages", by Gary Chapman. it is a short, cheap, book that will change your life and upend your cosmos : )
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts-eboo...
no affiliation, except that i bought and read it and it made me a better person.