Alternatively, please _do_ take these comments seriously, since some of the people reading this post and following this discussion are the ones who help their organizations make purchasing decisions about on-prem VCS solutions. I'll certainly be making sure that the people at my organization who are evaluating which VCS to buy are aware of Gitlab's choices regarding telemetry.

Yes, this. As it happens, I am currently tasked with selecting a system like this to replace what we currently use. I was strongly leaning toward recommending Gitlab, but am no longer. (To be clear, I haven't ruled it out, either, despite the fact that I've stopped using it personally -- it's just that it's not the leading contender anymore.)