I haven't got a lot to add apart from saying that my experience parallels your own. We have an eight-month-old, our first, and my wife feels inadequate all the time because she can't ignore the carefully cultivated facades from 'influencer' parents. Rationally she knows that these standards are impossible and unnecessary, but we humans don't get to select our anxieties.

Also my daughter is super cute and smiley and we secretly suspect she really is unusually adorable, even though we rationally realize that it's mostly hormones. Mostly.