Upvoted you because, despite le snark, I think you're making a really good point: Soda is fucking nuts.

Seriously, "pop" et. al. is "Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy" level farce.

There are places where it's easier to get Coke than potable water.

"If sugar had been discovered recently instead of in antiquity it would be a controlled substance instead of being half our kids' meals."