Re:Superior IQs associated with mental and physical disorder...
by rglullis on Tuesday October 15, 2019 @07:53AM
(#21257532)
I don't want us to talk past one another. My only issue with parent's post is that "focusing on the effort as its own reward" is going too much to the other extreme. "Rewarding for the effort" seems to me just as misguided as "praising for being smart", that's all.
Re:Superior IQs associated with mental and physical disorder...
by silveroriole on Tuesday October 15, 2019 @09:53AM
(#21258327)
I don’t see much wrong with rewarding for outcome. That’s how adults seem to work - your boss praises you for getting stuff done, not for being bright or putting effort in. You have to avoid the trap of only praising for PERFECT outcome, rather than incremental steps towards perfection, but I know I feel best being praised for a tangible thing I achieved rather than intangible intelligence or effort.
(Well, some bosses try to praise for effort but I’ve always found it to be really patronising or a barely-disguised attempt to get you to work overtime.)
The best things in life typically reward effort spent with incremental results, which come with their own dopamine rush. It's something I wish I had been made to understand at a much earlier age.
Here's a short list: - Cooking - Playing an instrument - Singing - Painting - Drawing - Writing - Learning (..a language, a new skill, etc) - Developing and maintaining valuable social and romantic relationships into adulthood - Any and all sports - Crafting - Raising children
The goal obviously isn't to maximize effort, it's simply to reinforce the link between effort and results and help the child understand that they can coast off their natural abilities (as we all have/do), but if they want to improve or excel in something that they enjoy then it will take real effort.