>And get yourself a girl friend.
As much as I would love to snap my fingers and make this happen, I really have no idea how to go about this. I met my last serious girlfriend at a bus station in Minsk, just struck up a conversation (in English).
Whereas here in the US, I have been in $BoringTechCity for 3 years, and haven't had a woman so much as smile at me. I'm very much a skinny George Costanza, and I freak people out. I also abstain from dating apps and am at this "squishy" part of adulthood where I enjoy staying in, making Indian curry and playing Red Dead, and can't imagine doing anything social in the evenings after work. (I did, however, perform stand-up comedy twice last week, at two different venues. Both times went pretty well, but I don't feel compelled to do it again anytime soon.)
So this is key. Start using your God given high voltage brain and start imagining. Then plan. Then implement.
Looks? Effendi, you see the most gorgeous women with the most unlikely males all the time. I wouldn't worry about that even a tiny bit.
> I did, however, perform stand-up comedy twice last week, at two different venues. Both times went pretty well, but I don't feel compelled to do it again anytime soon.
A sense of humor is one of the most attractive qualities in a man to a woman. You are already set. You are smart, you are funny, you have a fucking job.
Have you considered you are ungrateful to the Universe or God or the Spaghetti Monster? :-)
I might generalize this to "put yourself in position where you have a responsibility to other people". The expectations that other people have of us can be a burden, but they can also help us pull together enough motivation to get stuff done.
Entirely correct. Therapy is effective. Meditation will help. There is a Chinese old saw about "treasures that you carry within you and which none can rob nor destroy but you".
And get yourself a girl friend.
[p.s. when you get your act together, you know discipline, social skills, and making connections, your 139 will put you way ahead of those who merely have those skills, so cheer up.]