If it's possible for you, see a qualified therapist. They will help you unpack the the problem and see if from different perspectives.

I would not trust advice you find on the Internet, it could just compound the invisible biases you already have (this is a risk with therapists too, but less so since they're trained professionals).

Shop around for a therapist. If you have friends who know you well and can recommend a therapist ask them for a recommendation.

Best of luck, seeking out help is the first step.