While at the same time a counter-culture push exists for men to refuse all of that or risk getting called out as "toxic" and/or "mysogonistic" over some of the most mundane behaviors.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Yes, this is the important part. A lot of men lack the tools to be able to go through a hard situation but instead turn into drugs, violence or other negative coping mechanisms.

I think when I feel lonely I watch old TV shows like Star Trek or House and a ton of youtube (mostly educational/scientific channels) I avoid drinking, I only got drunk 2 times in my life , without intending it, and a lot of unhappy feelings surfaced, I seen this in my father too, maybe other get violent but me I get extremely sad (last time was 15 years ago so now I would probably be 10x worse)