Re:BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
by jejones3141 on Friday September 13, 2019 @06:53PM
(#20967491)
Perhaps "You deserve jump pay for time spent in training last year"?
Re:BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
by dragonwriter on Friday September 13, 2019 @07:25PM
(#20967708)
That is active voice, but subtly changes the meaning. “Deserve” suggests non-binding moral qualification, “are entitled to” suggests binding legal qualification. “You earned jump pay for...” is closer.
Honestly, though, this is a case where the usual purpose of active voice rules (to avoid deenohasizing or obscuring responsibility) is not actually frustrated even though the sample is in passive voice so while I wouldn't use it as an example of active voice I wouldn't necessarily avoid it even given an avoid-passive-voice guideline. (And I've reviewed documents under publication manuals with such guidelines.)
Re:BLUF: A military standard to make writing more powerful
by dllthomas on Saturday September 14, 2019 @12:35AM
(#20968940)
In another thread, I got to: "Applicable regulations entitle you to jump pay for the time you spent in training last year." For the passive reading I think that's the correct active version.
"The time you spent in training last year entitles you to jump pay [for that time]."
Although style guides like this one usually advise against using passive voice because it makes things harder to read, clarity should be the goal, not just active voice. This is a good example of a reason you might prefer passive voice: because the verb's subject isn't the focus. Passive voice can also be clearer than active voice when there's no relevant or meaningful actor to use as the subject.