A friend had some issues with things outside their work that were impinging on their work, and this was eventually brought up in an HR meeting. HR mentioned that their health insurance provides a number of therapy sessions for free with no co-pay, so they accessed that, and found it really helped them. They also agreed a work-from-home scheme. A few weeks later, my friend was doing significantly better both in work and outside it.

Trying to help with non-work-related things directly is a minefield, but ensuring that the employee has access to everything they need to succeed should be table stakes.

A good 1:1 allows the direct report to share personal information, because the personal stuff affects the work. Take into account: yes, because turning a blind eye stunts your ability to manage your team to success. Addressed: during work hours, only insomuch as official company policy and built-in supports apply to the person's situation. Individuals are free to offer whatever other support they feel is appropriate outside of work context (although a good manager will also take into account how this will affect their team now and in the future)

I think trying to solve personal (e.g., non work related) problems is a minefield. I would not, as a team lead, go there beyond a generic offer to talk. Most companies likely have standard policies for health and similar personal issues and trying to make your own policy on any serious issue there can backfire badly.

But job-related stress is there and is often solvable (e.g., a developer may be stressed if he committed to a a week's worth of work done in 2 days, etc.). My 2c.

I was never stressed before becoming a parent. My job pressure is the same but the combined stress is what hurts.

Flexible work hours, remote work and a strictly never-over-40-hours work week has been absolutely essential to be able to cope and still be a good parent (hockey practice weekdays at 4 twice a week for example).

One example of solving an unsolvable problem: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erik_Wolpaw#Personal_life

Engineering manager here.

Solving stress out of work is not reasonable. But knowing about it and being flexible is. One key reason to understand this is that many people recommend vacations to people who are stressed. If stress is coming from outside then this has a negative effect and work may be an escape from whatever other issues.

We all have periods of work stress and life stress. When life stress increases a manager can choose to find ways to decrease an employee’s work based stress.

As a manager I’d consider tools to use might include paid time off, temporary re-assignment to work that is more rewarding/less demanding.

Even simple things like showing concern by following up to find out how those life stresses are coming along and being an ear to listen can go a long way.

If it is I imagine you do what you can to help offset it at work, but ultimately if there's nothing you can do officially I guess you just have to offer your support in whatever way they will accept.