This misses the actual upsides of marriage, you don’t get married for the easy casual sex (well I mean some people probably do at first). You get married for the commitment. You can rely on the other, till death do you part, to support you, pooling your resources etc. and your families an social network sees the commitment as a sign of maturity and a signal to invest in your future as well.

To look at marriage as purely transactional either sexually or financially is disingenuous.

I’m not really imposing this on anyone else just voicing my thoughts on how I may choose differently given second chance. I’m happily married so know the pros and cons. Fact of it is I was never gunning for marriage. I dated my wife for a very long time and she eventually gave me an ultimatum. I didn’t want to leave her so I married her. That said I think it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. However, it’s challenging because I’m also selfish and want to focus on myself and my interests way more than couple stuff. Fact is I don’t need any of that stuff you listed. I make plenty of money, I don’t give a shit what my family or friends think, I really sometimes wish I had the resources I have now without the responsibilities that come with wife, kid, family. It’s probably the definition of mid life crisis.

I’m thankful to be happily married. I know a lot of people in similar situations but not happy and refuse to put their kid through a broken home or they don’t want to lose half or the social/family shame part. It seems miserable.

Well condoms are a must pretty much since HIV showed up... 40 years ago?? It’s not a rampant problem with people who play safe afaik.

My divorced friends all get sugar babies. Cost less than a wife, guys do what they want hobbies, workaholic, etc. Girls are there when they need them. Yes, it’s basically low volume prostitution

HIV was pretty much limited to male homosexuals until the mid 80s. Which is when I pretty much bailed on casual sex.

There was a heyday of condom-free casual sex during the 60s-70s, after convenient hormonal birth control had become available, and before HIV showed up. HSV was nasty, but not fatal, and there were antibiotics for most STDs.

My wife and I are more like roommates, in many ways. After 20 years, anyway. We love each other, but we have very different interests. But then, this is the third marriage for both of us, and kids were never part of it.