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Re:Ask HN: A colleague is leaving. How to investigate what w... by watwut on Saturday August 24, 2019 @04:09PM (#20789407)
Only special kind of person will tell you that you are toxic if you are. It takes even more special person to be able to explain it to you in terms you will understand.

Friends are people who are cool with you, by definition. Even if you are toxic.

You are toxic is also meaningless. Professional can tell you more exactly what is problem and help you solve it.

Re:Ask HN: A colleague is leaving. How to investigate what w... by ljm on Sunday August 25, 2019 @01:18PM (#20794120)
Also a good friend isn’t going to use the word toxic. They might say you’re being a dick or an asshole about something, and give a gentle nudge within the boundaries of that friendship, but ‘toxic’ is the kind of thing you put out there when you’re breaking the friendship off. At that point the toxic person ignored every opportunity to change, even make a small effort, and either refused to or doubled down on their act.