These comments put me in mind of https://motherfuckingwebsite.com/ and http://bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com/ https://thebestmotherfucking.website/ https://perfectmotherfuckingwebsite.com/

Perhaps one could use greasemonkey to inject Google analytics into arbitrary sites. (And load some font, and perhaps have a 20 second timeout somewhere.)

Reverse-reader view! Isn't there a bookmarklet that Geocities-ifies pages somewhere, same idea.

Don't forget Facebook like buttons, those really need to be front and center on every page.

No worries the snakeoil antivirus suites already does that for you ;-)

And no non-standard fonts on some random CDN.

My eyes are bleeding