Re:Anxiety Looks Different in Men
by TheOtherHobbes on Tuesday August 13, 2019 @06:22AM
(#20684268)
No, that's absolutely wrong. Men and women have strongly defined expectations of themselves and of each other. Some are social and cultural. Some are genetic. Many are contradictory - which leads to impossible demands that can't be achieved by either gender.
All of the current models for dealing with this are wrong. Neither liberal feminism and identity politics nor alt-right resentment and nostalgia for an imaginary lost "real" masculinity are healthy solutions to this problem.
Essentially, both approaches are resentment-based rather than reality-based. Some of the resentments are justified, others are rather artificially exaggerated. But I don't think either approach is the last or best word.
What impossible to achieve demands are being made in the definition of toxic masculinity?
For reference, I'm using the definition from Wikipedia[0], since disagreeing on terms is a common problem in discussions like this.
Interestingly, Wikipedia says the term and concept were invented by the men's movement, not resentful feminists.
For instance, men often have difficulty seeking help for mental or emotional health issues, because traditional masculine identity requires men to be stoic and independent of emotional connection - such needs are considered feminine, and a weakness when displayed in men. That would be an example of toxic masculinity.
To continue from a now deleted reply - toxic masculinity is not internalized misandry. Misandry is a hatred of men. Toxic masculinity is not, nor does it derive from, a hatred of men. If one acknowledges that masculine identity and masculine culture exist, and that men have unique social, mental and emotional issues which derive in part from the expectations that society has of men, then one should be able to find the definition of toxic masculinity where these intersect, because the expectations that society has of men are defined, in large part, by men, themselves.