It certainly doesn't help that my options for shorts seem to be: cargo shorts, "dress" shorts, jean shorts, and athletic shorts. Given those options, I'll take my cargos every single time. I don't look better in the other three, and I'm certainly not going to wear athletic shorts all the time. If I'm not wearing shorts, I just wear regular jeans.

I'm not trying to win a fashion show at work while sitting in my office not talking to clients. I'm wearing clothing that's functional and comfortable. Only random people on the internet seems to actually care about this, and can never seem to explain why they care so much. It usually comes down to some spurious nonsense about "neckbeards."

Agreed. This seems so judgmental and creates a hostile environment for a lot of people.