I'm not blaming the incel community. I'm actually essentially taking their side. Our society doesn't help men in that situation very well, and treats them exceptionally poorly.

And sure, counter-examples exist, though that particular one isn't really in the same space as this. Certainly people kill each other, and sometimes crazy people kill random strangers. But that was not a mass killing in the sense that this El Paso situation was, or that 9/11 was.