For the local music scene in my city (Kitchener ON), if you want a quiet, respectful, focused environment in which to enjoy, skip the pub sets and go to the house shows instead. Almost all the local artists play them, and there are a lot that are pseudo-public. Like, they're not advertised openly, so you need to ask the artist to find out, but you also don't necessarily need to know the hosts— it's very much a friends-of-friends type affair, and in my experience very welcoming.