This conversation is probably moot in teams where programmers are actually empowered to make their own decisions. In that case XP is fine, if you enjoy it, which makes it sort of a tautology.

The problem though is the Agile Industrial Complex and "thought leaders" who have pushed this as a religion on the industry. I enjoy pairing, and the excitement of two minds working at the same problem in tandem is an experience to be relished. But give it to an Agile snake-oil salesman, most of whom gravitated away from programming a long time ago in favor of making money training others in how to program, and they'll wield it as a weapon by prescribing the only true way to work.

Well, I won't disagree. I've had the moniker "Agile Coach" before it was ever a thing (I though I'd invented the term :-) ). But I have never been a business consultant. My "coaching" was exactly what you would expect from a sports coach: I helped the players, not the management :-).

XP (in its traditional sense) doesn't scale past 8 developers anyway. Anybody selling you XP for a team of 500 is someone to be wary of ;-)

This right here. It changed my outlook on software completely.

There are pains and giving folks the opportunity for change/rotation is refreshing.

Software is a team sport, its a weak-link game where we must communicate and empathize in order to see clearly (often past our own egos) in order to pull one-another up.

I was fortunate that good pairing hygiene was a focal point. Without that it can be disastrous mentally and ruin the experience for everyone. It turned into a highly collaborative sport at that point.

I am a hugger naturally but when I run into those pairs I went through the trenches with, it is a brother/sister hug. Best time of my life.

I feel you. When you pair program with someone you get to know each other deeply as programmers and people too. Not all of us can go into millitary to live dangerously with fellow soldiers, or participate in team sports, but as a weak substitue we have pair programming and high-pressure projects. I have to clarify that I enjoy pairing. It is the greatest thing when it works. But often it doesn't - it is a social activity, and so many things have to come together for that to happen. If you have a company that selects for such fit, and a culture that teaches pair hygiene, then the chances are better. Yet, I would rather reserve the freedom to choose how I work rather than be institutionalized for 8 hours a day into a specific ritual.