Re:Assholes: A Probing Examination
by TheSpiceIsLife on Friday July 05, 2019 @01:38AM
(#20360088)
Haven't come across Marshall Rosenberg, will have to look him up when I get a chance.
Have you come across Fred Kofman, he has this thing he calls Verbal Aikido, check it out here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6N9nvk8bvE - he also has some books that fall loosely in to the hippy dippy category while still valuable in my opinion.
Rosenberg also narrates the audiobook version. His delivery is a big relief compared to the usual bravadoish and disconcertingly deranged manner of the self-help or ‘soft skills’ genre. Even though I'm still having trouble with the anecdotal nature of the argument, it's a lot better than e.g. “Don't Sweat The Small Stuff.”
Right there with you and I'm the asshole who wrote this post. I know I have a tendency to want to strike back when I feel struck and I also have a tendency to go way overboard, in that "don't throw the first punch but throw the last" kind of way. Honestly I think everyone has asshole behaviors every now and then, a true asshole doesn't know or doesn't care when they act like a prick. The fact that this is something you're consciously aware of and working on I think means you're fine.
One book I might recommend though is 'Nonviolent Communication' by Marshall Rosenberg. It definitely feels a little hippy dippy at times and the skeptical asshole in me occasionally rolls my eyes at it, but I think it's really helped me understand some of my own communication tendencies and given me a lot of tools to help curb my own shit.