It does work but I've yet to encounter one that works as well as the Apple one. Like how the 1 button mouse works, but the two button one works more better.

Though I was moreso talking about the OG hockey puck that shipped with the OG iMac.

The hockey puck was bad, sure, but your criticism only mentioned the buttons.

You realize that Apple was doing one-button mice from before (almost) everyone else was doing mice, period, yes?

I'm using Apple touchpad right now (and a non-Apple one too, right next to it) and it's nothing special. The only thing that makes it pleasant to use is the way gestures are implemented in macOS - but it has nothing to do with two-finger click. This works just as well, or even slightly better, on my non-Apple laptop with GNU/Linux and it's been a while since I've encountered a touchpad that would be worse in this regard (they definitely existed many years ago though).