Of course, we agree there. Re: your final sentence, what I'm actually saying here is that this version of "kindness" may be actively harming some people in the long run. But because humans are generally bad at long-term thinking, we follow our instincts (i.e. "make this person feel immediately better any way possible in this immediate moment"). So, "kindness" isn't necessarily kind in these situations. Your desire to help is betrayed by your mind. Your actions are harmful. Think about that.

I should clarify because I feel there is some confusion- I do not desire to help someone. I do not desire to be kind, nor compassionate. I merely find it more useful to be willing to listen to others and come from a place to desire to understand first, evaluate second, act third. I've stated to my companions that I'm not a compassionate, empathetic, or kind person (to their vehement disagreement) because my willingness to listen does not spawn from any of the reasoning you are pointing as flawed.

Good clarification. Listen -> evaluate -> act is a solid approach.

Nick Lowe made a song out of this paradox:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0l3QWUXVho

Which is based on a line from Hamlet with the same reasoning ("I must be cruel only to be kind.").

Thanks for teaching me this after all these decades!

Very kind of you :)