What's the difference between a screen emitting X light as a primary light source and a sheet of paper emitting the same exact amount of light, as a secondary light source ?
The amount of light coming to your retina stays the same..
Just lower the brightness until it matches the amount of light reflected by a sheet of paper placed next to the screen.
If you can't read the paper, turn the lights on. Being in a dark room dilates your pupils which makes them even more sensible to bright light...
Printed paper glowing white would indeed be very annoying.
Passive displays, such as old non-backlit LCD or e-ink, can be white and not annoying. Most people don't want to stare into a light source more than necessary.
Using proper brightness helps, and dark mode can help even more.