But wouldn't it be distributing it across the total surface area of VANTABLACK - like, isn't the point that the energy is dissipated across a much wider surface?

I mean, I get it .. I'm no physicist and have no idea how any of this works ..

Lasers destroy things by pumping energy into them and melting them or melting through them.

Painting the missile black makes it so that it absorbs energy more efficiently. Making the laser more effective. This is why people are suggesting mirrors as mirrors reflect energy away without absorbing it, but other people have comments about why that won’t work perfectly.

Think of wearing a white vs black T-shirt on a sunny day. Which shirt is hotter? From my experience it’s the black one since it absorbs all the sunlight and heats up; whereas, the white shirt reflects a large amount of it and heats up less.