I'm talking about getting blindsided by some bad noise or light or thing moving wrong, and having to leave right in the middle of something.

I'm talking about remembering to actively suppress your urge to rock or fidget, because otherwise people will start treating you like you're nuts.

I'm talking about not knowing that people are pissed off at you, for weeks, even years, even though everyone around you knows it, but won't say anything because you're expected to know.

I'm talking about not being able to look in someone's eyes, but knowing you're expected to, and some days it's especially hard.

I'm talking about the room suddenly becoming silent, again, and you're left wondering what you fucked up this time.

I'm talking about relationships slowly going off the rails because you can't seem to express yourself properly, and the other person, though trying to be understanding, is losing patience.

Like arthritis, it creeps and moves, and some things are painful one day, not painful the next. But it's ever present, and catches you unaware.