The "good" news is that there are only a few years of retirement you really want to hang around for anyway (as opposed to a slow miserable death of dementia and other diseases). Seven years, for example. (67 to 75)
When I run out of money, I'm out.
I suspect you can support a family pretty cheapily. The problem is everyone wants to "do everything possible" for their kids -- pay for the best child care, the best schools (or housing in a good school district), clothes and phones to keep up with the Jones' kids, $500k to bribe your way into USC, college tuition, etc. Yes, that all adds up, but I suspect you can also allocate an appropriate percentage of your income to retirement and just pay less for some of those things.
Kid is too young to stay at home by himself and we don't live by family. So we pay for before/after care (school hours are from 9-3:30). This is astonishingly $600 a month, a relatively cheap option around here (there's cheaper but not by much).
There is a small minority of Americans who won't have any retirement savings due to catastrophic illness, or a lifetime of inability to get a good paying job, or some other factor. But this number should be very small. Everybody else should be able to accumlate money for retirement.
To save for retirement takes discipline and means forgoing things today to save for tomorrow. The benefits of saving for retirement must be indelibly impressed into people's minds for this to happen.