I was present for the last few days of my grandmother’s life, as were all of my aunts and uncles.

Under severe stress, several of them reverted to basically their childhood personalities and relationships with each-other. It surfaced a bunch of half-century-old petty resentments and roles, which was quite surprising for me as an observer who was born 25+ years after their childhood.

Try to cut your brother in law some slack. He’s having a hard time.