What I've found - in high emotion situations people need express that emotion before they start listening, and they need to know that emotion is being heard.

This is tough. Sometimes people need a lot of prodding to start expressing a strong emotion because it invites judgement. It's kind of the end of artifice - 'this is who I am and what I'm really feeling'

Also, I find it exhausting to deal with high emotion.

But once that's over with, folks are more open to hearing the 'feeling statements' and observations.

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And can't resist old NVC joke -

Person 1 - "I'm really mad! This is so unfair!"

Person 2 - "I FEEL your anger"

Person 1 - "Everything's so chaotic, I don't know what to do!"

Person 2 - "I FEEL your confusion"

Person 1 - "I've got a lot of shit going down in my life!"

Person 2 - "I FEEL your shit going down!"