We initially felt obligated for each of our kids to have their special day with a party and friends/family over. It became a stressful challenge we didn't look forward to with each kid's birthday. There's still plenty of gift giving, but we have shifted to planning a family day doing something fun. Whether it's just a dinner and movie, fun activity or overnight stay somewhere, it's much funner for everyone and just as special.

Have a toonie (for us Canadians) party (or fiver if you have an affluent social circle):

Every kid bring 2x $2 or 2x $5 - one goes to the birthday kid and the other to a stated cause, like a charity that is close to the child's likes or interests.

In our experience it's a very socially acceptable way to ask for money, which I think most of the parents of attendees would appreciate more anyway.

Family tends to already give money for birthdays, or if not you still significantly cut down on the # of presents no one really wants.

You also have more time at the party for games and cake - we usually don't get a chance to unwrap presents at the party as it is.

We had a party recently where they explicitly asked everyone not to bring a present, and it was just fine. None of the kids minded and the birthday girl certainly didn't seem to care.

I've also noticed a push-back against party bags filled with plastic knick-knacks, with people putting a bit more thought into what goes in, which is great.