it's easier and maybe normal to think about these topics when you're going through a horrible time. When you're on top of your game, maybe even responsible to look after life that you've brought into this world, it's much harder to wrap your head around death. Once people land on their ass (we all do every once in a while), maybe from sickness, bankruptcy, or death of a close person (or all of it combined, as is usually the case when things all come together at once), it feels much less morbid to think about these topics.

From all the existentialists I've read Peter Wessel-Zapffe[1], a Norwegian philosopher (considered the comedian among philosophers) has helped me understand the importance of always facing the bleak side of life. As somebody who is no stranger to depression (and thoughts of suicide every couple of weeks) facing the reality of death and even seeking it out as a topic is the only way I'm able to be happy.

Also worth reading is Denial of Death[2].

[1] The Last Messiah: https://philosophynow.org/issues/45/The_Last_Messiah

[2] Ernest Becker "The denial of Death" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Denial_of_Death