"The detailed USB4 specification will be published in the middle of 2019 and half-assed, cheap hardware that only implements a subset of the total features list in order to cut corners on cost but still use the new name should appear in 2030 behind flimsy out-of-spec connectors and loose, easily damaged cables."

I had to add a few things to manage expectations and more accurately reflect reality, but I think we've got it now.