Re:Why I hate the weekends (2017)
by danShumway on Sunday February 17, 2019 @12:08AM
(#19182768)
> It's not like there aren't real problems to complain about that are shared among people and don't make someone look like self-absorbed
I think this approach to suffering is problematic. Feelings are not a contest. When I talk about things that hurt me, I don't care if someone else thinks that I'm "self-absorbed." The point of expressing myself and being vulnerable about things I'm dealing with is not to make me look good.
It's to sort out my thoughts so I can better understand what I'm feeling, it's to connect with other people who understand me and can offer solutions, it's to find other people who are going through the same things so I don't feel like I'm alone, and it's to show other people who are going through the same things that they're not alone.
Expressing yourself to other people is healthy, even for rich 0.1% people. It only becomes an issue when it causes you to stop caring about other people or dismissing their problems as irrelevant. I don't see any obvious indication in this post that OP has done that. OP can simultaneously say, "this is a hard thing I'm struggling with" and "other people have it worse" at the same time. They're not exclusive concepts.
And not to poke fun, but the framework you propose is honestly just silly if you start to break it down: is it uncouth for the middle-class to complain about rising health care costs, given that many US prisons don't even offer adequate health care at any cost? Is it a problem for the homeless to complain about eating food out of trash cans when poorer people in other countries are mixing dirt into their flour? You mention divorce as a shared issue, but really that just shows how out-of-touch you are with the plight of modern sex-slaves in ISIS controlled territories.
I think this approach to suffering is problematic. Feelings are not a contest. When I talk about things that hurt me, I don't care if someone else thinks that I'm "self-absorbed." The point of expressing myself and being vulnerable about things I'm dealing with is not to make me look good.
It's to sort out my thoughts so I can better understand what I'm feeling, it's to connect with other people who understand me and can offer solutions, it's to find other people who are going through the same things so I don't feel like I'm alone, and it's to show other people who are going through the same things that they're not alone.
Expressing yourself to other people is healthy, even for rich 0.1% people. It only becomes an issue when it causes you to stop caring about other people or dismissing their problems as irrelevant. I don't see any obvious indication in this post that OP has done that. OP can simultaneously say, "this is a hard thing I'm struggling with" and "other people have it worse" at the same time. They're not exclusive concepts.
And not to poke fun, but the framework you propose is honestly just silly if you start to break it down: is it uncouth for the middle-class to complain about rising health care costs, given that many US prisons don't even offer adequate health care at any cost? Is it a problem for the homeless to complain about eating food out of trash cans when poorer people in other countries are mixing dirt into their flour? You mention divorce as a shared issue, but really that just shows how out-of-touch you are with the plight of modern sex-slaves in ISIS controlled territories.