I was not brought up in America so I didn't grow up with the Protestant Work Ethic as part of my culture, so this question is hard for me to answer. Honestly, anything else?

Nothing wrong with focusing on work, especially if you're an entrepreneur or very ambitious. I respect that.

But I think most of us are just putting our eight hours in and then doing other stuff, and that's okay too. The problem I see in the US is that the latter group of people is subconsciously guilty about this and thus spends their free time reading about how to be better at work. It's yet another manifestation if the "temporarily embarrassed millionaire" culture.

How about reading or learning about something that has nothing to do with your day to day job that you find interesting?

Everything I find interesting is somehow ends up related to what friends call "work" =)

EDIT: I was brought up in ex-USSR country, place not quite known for work ethic.

Is there something wrong with having work as your hobby? Or should I say, having work and your hobby be the same thing. I don't think most people are "subconsciously guilty" about anything. They just enjoy their work.

There is a word in applied behavior analysis: enrichment. An animal kept in a plain concrete cage develops stereotyping behaviors (pacing back and forth endlessly, rubbing so much on the same corner that fur falls out). The solution is enrichment, adding things to the environment that engage attention and are reinforcing at a healthy level when engaged with. What qualifies as the right amount of enrichment varies. A box turtle needs a few interesting objects to turn over, drag around, break, crawl over. A cockatoo...a cockatoo will engage to destruction with everything you have the mental space to give it and then start on your house. They're like toddlers with high intelligence and beaks that can bite through wood. (We do not have a cockatoo.)

When you accept all this stuff into your world, it is for enrichment. So is playing sports with friends who having a cup of tea and catching up with someone.

I have found that my guilt over not keeping up went away entirely when I switched to this. I don't have an obligation to this stuff. It has an obligation to me for giving it rent-free space in my head.

I wish there was a higher level being to recognize my stereotyping behavior and put appropriate enrichment into my environment. Because from where I sit I do not see it as repetitive, nor it does not make me feel guilty, but perhaps sad if something does not work out. But maybe from outside this is exactly what that caged animal was doing..

> I wish there was a higher level being to recognize my stereotyping behavior and put appropriate enrichment into my environment.

You're not alone. This is why therapy and coaching are a thing. It's not quite the same thing, but having someone to reflect with you and help you lay things out is useful.

Read for pleasure, explore nature, travel, paint, go to concerts, knit, etc.

Anything that helps you feel relaxed and at ease.

I'm always super busy with work and side projects, but last December I went to Maui for 2 weeks and it was the best thing I did for myself: when I returned, all the things I had to do ("work") crept back in and I realized what it actually meant to be relaxed (because in this condition, I'm definitely anything but that).

So basically hobbies and travel... My problem - my hobbies is what my friends see as a "work" (and I identify it as a work as well). Traveling is alright (although it is plenty of work with whole family, which includes two kiddos) - but it gets old rather quickly (again, perhaps part of it the fact that it is family traveling, so entertaiment options are rather limited)... Perhaps kiddos get old enough I might re-discover traveling as a way to relax, but until then doing nothing makes me more anxious than just keep working. And these self-help/productivity book are just tools, just like "c# for dummies" books.

Hobbies and travel are what are "relaxing" for me :). That may be different for you!