I never understood the "god can be anything you want" line. Five of the steps involve accepting "god" as an authority over your life, including "His will for us" and the power to "remove all these defects of character". It reminds me of Henry Ford's infamous "any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black"; i.e. you can have any god you want, as long as it's at least a metaphor for a personal god that deserves authority over your decisions and well-being. Your brother might have no problem with that sense of authority, but plenty of atheists do (e.g. believe that if Yahweh existed, He would be a tyrant undeserving of worship).