I live in the first world, in a city of about 100,000. According to numbeo it's a bit cheaper to live here than Seattle, but much more expensive than Dallas. I earn just under $60,000 USD as a developer, which is considered a good salary here.
I think you drastically over estimate the first world as a whole.
Perhaps I’m delusional because I’ve been comfortable in my low stress, check out and go home, type of job for some period of time. I just don’t feel any desire to chase some kind of meaning in my work. Most of my coworkers seem to have the same outlook.
I will admit I also an outlier for my age group. Have been married over a decade had kids in my early 20s without any debt (GI Bill helped here). Probably could have a bigger nest egg saved but traveled quite a bit before and after kids. This has resulted in different goals, and career trajectory than my peers. Both of our children will be out of the house when we are 46.
I 100% agree with you that social media has warped people's views of life. My social media presence is LinkedIn (and I guess here), just a page with one post. None of my hobbies I post about or share online, only through in-person interactions. Nor do I have smart phone, so I don't take pictures to share, thus we discuss what visiting a Nepalese village was like, instead of scanning a bunch of photos. In my opinion this creates a better relationship dynamic. I am sure there are things Im missing out on due to the extra step people need to take to invite me (a phone call) but I gladly trade it for the reduced information overload from a smart phone.
I don't think that job exists any more. Or if it does, there are fewer and fewer of them out there.
I have a reasonably well-paid, low-stress developer job working on a product I believe adds value. But I don't get to go home and just switch off: I get emails at all hours of the day and night, and if the service goes down at 4 am (which has never happened yet) then I need to deal with it.
I'm not sure there are many jobs that pay middle class wages but only require 9-5/M-F levels of responsibility.
I've worked with programmers who live in 3rd world countries like the Philippines, and notice a huge difference in the way they treat their job. When I give them a boring task, they don't ask what is this for, or why am I doing this? They just do it - on the flip side, they don't care about the product, or the company mission. I'm not saying this because it's good or bad, but this is just what I've noticed.