Nobody talks about the irish border because the one who starts to do so is the one who is going to be blamed.

I have zero doubts that there is going to be a hard border within a year after a hard brexit. There is already a massive duty fraud problem with the UK https://www.politico.eu/article/eu-warns-uk-again-to-recoup-... which would only escalate.

I have the impression that most EU goverments are just fed up with this british farce and want it to be over and the UK gone.