There's no open source driver, you have to make a login for the P&G website, go deep into the driver section for a somewhat related printer from 5 years ago before the linux guy quit, download the rpm, use alien to convert it to deb, install it, realize CUPS is printing a bunch of garbled ASCII because it's not matching the printer to the driver, extract the rpm, modify the .inf file to say Opte-C4550 instead of Opte-B1750, and reload the file in CUPS, print the test pattern, wash your face, print again.

Now you're ready to be beautiful and face the world.