So the question became, who do we send the car to. There was a young guy down the street. He was taking apart cars and putting them back together again. His friends were all into racing and while he had previously worked at a dealership, he quit to live the dream of repairing racing cars. Of course he was broke. I told my wife to wander over and see if he wouldn't mind looking after our car. Great mechanic and saved us thousands compared to what the swindlers were doing. Previously the car was breaking down all the time. After we switched it never had a problem. When we replaced our car recently, we gave him our old car as a thank you. Good mechanics are worth keeping happy :-)
It's not really a science for finding people who are good at what they do. There is not a thing that you can pinpoint and say, "That person is definitely good and that person is not". But I think if you start with the proxy of, "That person loves what they do and sacrifices a lot in order to do it", I think you are more likely to find someone good. Not 100%, but you've got a much better shot at it.
Edit: I misinterpreted your post and assumed you meant that you were looking for a good lieutenant to help you. I need more sleep! But either way, work at being that good mechanic in the same way -- love what you do and work hard at it. You'll definitely make progress, so don't worry about it.
I built this premise because I do read a lot of car forums and, quite frequently, people would ask "Hey my car is doing XYZ" and a lot of responses would be "Take your car to a mechanic you can trust." To me this is basically telling them "Already know the answer to your question."
One time a guy answered basically saying "Hey, go find a guy who has a car in his driveway he works on every weekend, bring a 6 pack, and ask him for an opinion." It totally opened my eyes to how different types of advice really change people's perspective.
I believe that the value is in explaining what a person who loves what they do actually looks like.
They break down the communication with your team into a principle you want to strive for. Then you're shown an example of how that happens in the real world.
Once you've seen the patterns, you notice them everywhere, and you begin to unravel the issues, one hurdle at a time. It's like seeing a great design pattern, seeing where it fits and how to apply it, except now you're doing it with communication instead of code.
I think this might help you "find a mechanic you can trust" and get to the heart of what it takes to lead your team.
I will say if you constantly questioning whether you are doing a good job and if you can do better... you are probably above average at least.
Some personal introspective criticism I've been wrestling with.
By that I mean the advice of "find a mechanic you can trust" only is applicable to someone already familiar enough to know how to determine if a mechanic is trustworthy.
A lot of your advice is probably 100% valuable, but as someone working through a lot of these same concerns I'm stuck wondering "Well, how do I know I'm actually doing that?" It leads me to wonder if I'm actually successful at any of this or just Dunning–Kruger-ing my way through it.