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Re:Happy Birthday, XMPP: 20th Anniversary of Jabber by jcbrand on Friday January 04, 2019 @12:39PM (#18825917)
I can't say which is best, I can only say I use Prosody and am very happy with it.

Here's a howto on setting it up: https://homebrewserver.club/configuring-a-modern-xmpp-server...

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