You might consider that your question is similarly self-fulfilling. Your basic theory here is you know a black man's experience better than he does. How many black people will be willing to honestly share with you what happens to them when this is a depressingly common reaction? Which of course leads you to believe that this isn't a pervasive problem in the US.

If you're interested in moving beyond that, I'd suggest starting with the recent books from DiAngelo [1] and Oluo [2]. Or for a more personal take, the recent memoir from Julie Lythcott-Haims is good at conveying how pervasive this stuff is, and how much pain that causes.

[1] https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07638ZFN1 [2] https://www.amazon.com/dp/B073P53DVL [3] https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MR92UQN