Well, according to the US government, companies are in fact people for a wide variety of important purposes.

Repeating this is either willful misunderstanding of the law or parroting of outrage propaganda. We would all be much worse off if not for corporate personhood. There are aspects of it that are debatable (Citizens United ruling, which is the source of this tired meme), but without it you couldn't enforce contracts with a corporation after the employee who signed it left.