Nobody denies that masculine traits like aggression aren't natural tendencies in males. But, the notion that its natural isn't contradictory with the notion that it can be the driver of highly selfish and oppressive behaviors.

Slandering people as incels because they're ugly or unpopular is not a commonly held view. Calling them out for aggressively blaming women for their problems and encouraging sexual violence as a justified way to satisfy natural needs is common. The term incel is typically self-assigned.

Your last argument is a good example of the main fallacy here. Nobody says that drives for achievement and competition are bad. But its not an excuse to be an asshole. Maybe men are predisposed to certain behaviors that make them assholes. Doesn't matter. Don't be an asshole. Can't help it? Doesn't matter. Don't be an asshole. The drive against toxic behaviors is really simple. Don't do them.