> When playing software instruments with latency, most people say the threshold for percieving the latency is between 10-30ms

I really challenge the lower end of this. Sound travels about a foot per millisecond. Bands regularly play at 10ft distances.

The problem is that 10ms latency on a digital audio workstation generally isn't if you start measuring with an oscilloscope.

There’s a huge difference between the feedback loop of playing an instrument and the one-way experience of listening to a band, though.

Bands typically are using in-ear or floor monitors. Main PA latency won't affect their playing because it's not what they're paying attention to.