How the Finnish survive without small talk

Re:How the Finnish survive without small talk by hrktb on Friday October 19, 2018 @12:53PM (#18258043)

I feel this is in the same vein as asking every girl on the street if she wants to have a drink.

That definitely can be one way to meet one’s life partner. But it’s so grating from the other side, even if the request is very polite and non pushy.

Some people live for the human contact, others don’t want any. Honestly it’s a PITA when the social norm puts an obligation to respond, even briefly, to not seem rude.

If it’s a protocol, there should be an option to just drop the incomming packets and go on with one’s life.

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Re:How the Finnish survive without small talk by thekingofh on Friday October 19, 2018 @01:03PM (#18258128)

This is true if you are running into people on such a basis that it becomes cumbersome. It may be a cultural/geographical thing, where in the US there's ton's of space and in some areas, especially rural ones where you see more small talk, it's possible that you don't see anyone for days at a time, which means you run into your neighbor and the small talk is a way to prime up a conversation. The more dense the population the more cumbersome this type of behavior becomes. The larger the countryside, the more likely the people are going to be using small talk to break the ice.

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Re:How the Finnish survive without small talk by QuantumGood on Friday October 19, 2018 @03:22PM (#18259237)

A lot of life is dealing with things that are a PITA, and there are advantages in developing skill dealing with them. Develop a strategy, practice. Lots of books and articles about this.

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Re:How the Finnish survive without small talk by hrktb on Friday October 19, 2018 @04:33PM (#18259821)

In this particular case, for some it’s a PITA and for some a pleasure in life or at least something they seek out.

That unbalance is the interesting part I think, just like so many things in life where changing perspective is needed to deal with people.

About books and articles...It’s another topic, but I don’t know, I find a lot of these have a “how to fix your personality” angle that is just innapropriate and/or unproductive. Becoming an extravert or small talk guru shouldn’t be the goal. And, as you say, developping strategies to have less people noise and more mindful communication is usually so personal, while not being that hard, that it’s not a very good subject for a self help book.

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Re:How the Finnish survive without small talk by QuantumGood on Tuesday October 23, 2018 @10:15PM (#18289166)

Yeah, research books AND goal types before you study. Lots of good suggestions on HN.

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Re:How the Finnish survive without small talk by Pudini on Friday October 19, 2018 @08:28PM (#18261027)

If it’s a protocol, there should be an option to just drop the incomming packets and go on with one’s life.

This. Now if any of those influencers could start a campaign to make a short signal socially acceptable for "drop communications".

I vote for making an X with your index fingers.

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