I can't wait to cite this when another person claims that e.g. the GDPR is so anti-corporate, and the EU's only goal is to punish American companies.

Somehow the EU is always the bad actor, it doesn't matter which side it ends up favoring in some specific action.

Of which there are probably thousands, if not tens of thousands every year. But sure, the world ending always hinges on exactly the one action some commenter happened to dislike that day.

Let's not make this an "us vs. them" thread, that doesn't help anybody.

In general, or in this specific case? Because I can think of a number of times us vs. them have been important for the advancement of justice, civil rights, protection of individuals etc.

Copyright is intended for the protection of literary or artistic works, but it's been extended to cover recordings and performances. Those arguably have some artistic or creative properties, but I find it hard to argue that telemetry data has any real creative properties.

The truth is, you don't need copyright on telemetry data for machines you control and own, because that data never leaves your control.

It only matters for machines you don't both control and own. Who benefits from differentiating between ownership and control?