The "reasonable fear of rape" is without doubt hugely asymmetric.

Men might be reasonably afraid of getting raped in jail.

Women have every right to have a reasonable fear of getting raped in a night club or an Uber or walking home from the grocery store. Because that happens all too regularly.

(I'm not saying "men don't get raped", but I am saying that "in general, most men never have any real fear that someone might be about to rape them".)

This may be true of violent rape, but that is not the only type of rape.

As someone who has been coerced into sex against my will, I think this narrow idea of what constitutes rape is harmful.

Of course, and I 100% do not ever want to deny or belittle your (or anyone else's) awful experiences.

I am though - still reasonably sure that the gender balance of people being coerced into sex is hugely asymmetric as well.

Rape jokes are 100% contemptible when made in front of men who are victims of or genuinely fearful of rape or sexual assault. They are 100% contemptible when made in front of women.

(It's contemptible when anyone does it in private with their frat bros or gaming friends/opponents, but I won't judge what they do in private so long as it stays private... But I will recommend they take a long hard look at what sort of person they are if that's what they think is an appropriate way to communicate with _anyone_...)