I do a lot of consulting so that might have something to do with it. Basically I get paid to appear to be the smartest person in the room (which I personally think is utter and total horse shit but that's another rant). I've been told my whole life that I'm "smart" but the problem is there are lots and lots of people out there who seem (I've tried to read their papers on ML) like they're an order of magnitude smarter. I write like a 13 year old, but maybe I speak better? IDK.

For most people I think it's totally subjective. If you surprise someone with a bit of knowledge they don't have (either memorized or figured out for yourself) people think you're "smart". People who share what they know or help others come to a novel solution appear "smart".

I do believe in a general concept of intelligence (q). I'm willing to bet mine is only slightly above average if even that, only because I keep meeting programmers who cannot think as clearly as I can so I have to assume I'm smarter than some of them.

I'm sorry I don't have a better answer. It's a total mystery to me. I feel like a total dumb fuck most of the time.

You said you identify with my first comment. How so?

Thank you very much for your answer. It gave me a lot to think about.

To answer your question - I have been told by my peers and teachers that I have “potential”, some pointed out that I am exceptionally good at grasping new concepts. From my point of view I “sort of” accept whatever new information is presented to me as truth and my mind goes into a kind of overdrive. It constrcts all the possible realities and finds inconsistencies or irregularities. It just doesn’t know when to stop. Over time, I believe I have improved the way I communicate these imaginations of my mind which I suspect makes people think I am smart. However, this doesn’t say anything about whether I actually understand the concept or if I have deep knowledge of the presented subject. This, in my opinion, is an appearance of being smart rather than actually being smart.