Perhaps our experiences varied, but I don't recall a lot of emphasis on critical thinking, decision making and figuring things out for myself in elementary school.

If you go back far enough you are absolutely correct, and there certainly is a history of elitism in colleges (and a legacy of discrimination).

However land grant colleges, the higher education act, Deweys ideas on pedagogy, all were premised on the idea that people needed more then rote learning and instruction in the trades to succeed.

I think you are also ignoring the influence of the Progressive educational movement and the G.I. Bill.