Re:Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely
by furi on Friday August 03, 2018 @08:29PM
(#17684656)
I've said this on here before more or less, but here's the problem for me: If my girlfriend is approached by a man without due cause (such as asking for directions, trying to commission her to work on something, etc.), our immediate reaction is to assume he has sexual intent. The only difference being creepy makes is whether or not it's an assumption or a certainty. I don't like being perceived as though I have sexual intent and I don't get the impression anybody else does either or romantic cat and mouse games wouldn't be as popular as they are. This isn't some hypothetical worst case false accusation thing, it's something real that I know happens because we both do it. And I know why we do it, we do it because 9/10 times if a guy approaches her without due cause he's got sexual intent. When you approach a woman without due cause you join a tiny segment of the population that is 90% horny men, expecting to not get labelled as a horny man is wishful thinking.
[ Parent
| on HN ]
Those "9/10 times if a guy approaches her without due cause he's got sexual intent" is a actually just a stereotype which if we actually measure it would shrink down to single digit percent. Male sexuality is commonly over exaggerated and part of the expected gender role, with female sexuality in contrast has the opposite expected gender role. Since no one want to perceive a man as being outside his gender role we attach this assumption of "horny man", in the same way we attach "innocent girl" to a woman. When a man approach a woman both gender roles and expectations are applied and thus we get this perceived situation.
I'm not going by stereotype here, I'm going by my personal experience. Now what probably is happening is I'm confirmation biasing a bit, it probably isn't quite 9/10 but it's enough that I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it myself.
Re:Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely
by ironjunkie on Friday August 03, 2018 @09:01PM
(#17684806)
Fully agree with you. I would put it more in the area of 50%, but this is exactly the point I am trying to make.
And as a guy, when you start a conversation with another stranger guy, none of this "Looking and feeling creepy" applies.